My story today…. quite frankly I’m feeling pissed off.
Do I feel guilty for feeling like this when I am in such a beautiful place? (I am on holiday in Italy, relaxing and working whilst my husband skis).
Yes, a little.
Do I accept all parts of me?
Do I accept the parts of me that are ungrateful and narky?
Do I understand that stories never get healed without honesty?
Do I know that the best/easiest/quickest way to get out of a funk is to share? (other than EFT)
Do I accept all parts of me to be able to share without feeling ashamed?
Am I going to do it anyway?
Because the truth is that part of why I am pissed off is because I created my group as a safe space for people to share, and then after an initial attempt at honesty I went and did the opposite.
I posted motivational stuff (which I like and believe in btw, but its only part of the equation). I set myself up as the person who has their shit sorted. And truthfully… I am that person 90% of the time, I know a lot of stuff and I walk my talk most of the time.
But not all of the time, and I genuinely believe that people are lonely, isolated, depressed through a lack of connection, a lack of having somewhere to go and share their shit. Please correct me if I am wrong. People don’t want to be the first person to share. I have to be that person.
The other reason I am pissed off is because I had a little plan for whilst I am here and it hasnt been working out. I planned a few hours a day getting ALL my tech stuff sorted, websites, fb, blogs, then off to the spa/walking/studying, more fun stuff. That was my plan but everything is taking SO long. I want a clear slate by the time we go home but I would like more ‘me’ time also.
And the real real reason?? The one lurking under the other trivial reason. Frankly I am loving everything I am doing. It dosn’t really matter if I spend my time on websites or in the spa.
The real reason, the one I have recognised through EXPRESSING myself: I’m worried that if I dont have enough time to do it here, with no other commitments, how am I going to find time to keep on top of it at home?
Also, I have been judging myself: too slow, too rubbish. Comparing myself: how do busy mums get it all done? Often under the story, the facts, the gloss, there is a judgement we are making about ourselves.
Which sounds like whingeing, and it is.
Whingeing/expressing/moaning, whatever you like to call it, is the FIRST STEP to healing. Getting it out there, naming it. Expressing it, discharging some of the emotion.
The SECOND STEP to healing is identifying the underlying fear/hurt/belief/feeling. The thing UNDER the story. This is what I help my clients with. In this case it’s the fear of next week, the week after, the week after that, and the judgement on myself. If you’re not used to looking for it, it can be hard to find. And it can hurt. This is where things get emotional, but also where the most healing happens.
The THIRD STEP is taking control. What needs to happen?
Do you need to heal something from your past that is making you feel like this or keeping yourself in repeat patterns of behaviour? (this is also what I help my clients with, big time).
Is being aware of it enough to let it go?
Do you need to make an action plan?
Do you just need to accept it’s the way things are?
Me, I’m going to accept that I am crap at tech and I am going to text my admin lady for some help when I get home!!! And I’m going to clear my self judgement with some tapping.
I hope you grasp them the steps to healing. If not, ask away!!! And the beauty is you can do them yourself, anytime. There are specific techniques for clearing emotions and memories, more stages sometimes, but this just about sums it up.
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Rachel Weber is an emotional healer who clears past events, memories and emotions so that her clients can live their best futures.